You don’t do things together anymore. Married couples always have their thing. Whether it’s a Friday night or weekend binge-watching, you two always planned something to do together. You both would always sit down and decide together which restaurant to pick for date nights.
You both don’t talk about the future anymore. Marriages are all about long-term planning for the future. Both partners make short-term plans like going on vacations, having babies, etc. and long-term plans like investing together, and buying a car or house.
If you both don’t talk about the future anymore, it’s because the future doesn’t matter to you anymore. You both don’t care about having babies or going on vacations. Everything has become mundane.
You’re not having sex. Not having sex is an absolute sign you have grown apart in a marriage One of the major red flags of Growing Apart is that you both aren’t having sex anymore. The spark in your marriage has gone and you both behave like two strangers sharing the same bed.
Sex says a lot about intimacy in a relationship as sex isn’t just about the physical connection but the emotional connection that you both share. If you both don’t have those pillow talks anymore after sex then it seems that you both are losing interest in each other and growing apart.
You both have stopped talking to each other. You both don’t know how to talk to each other anymore. There’s always the regular small talk like What do you want for dinner? Or what time will you come home? But that’s not talking.
Two married couples talk about more intimate things and ask each other about their day or tease each other about various things. Did you just have a flashback about how you both used to be? If you both aren’t the same people anymore, there’s some thinking to do.
You both are Growing Apart growing apart emotionally. You both see each other as normal individuals. That emotional connection that you both had is fading away. One of you may have also begun to look for emotional satisfaction elsewhere.
You both don’t share intense things anymore. On the other hand, you both are starting to get irritated with each other’s presence. When married couples begin to see their partner as just another individual, it means that there are getting less emotionally involved with each other.
You don’t miss your partner. Remember those days of courtship when you both would look forward to meeting each other? You would miss your partner and keep checking your phone for his texts.
Share Your Concerns. The first step toward overcoming the growing distance between you and your partner is to talk about your concerns. However, it’s important to make sure this is a conversation and not a confrontation.
You might start the conversation by talking about what you are feeling. For example, you might say something like, “I feel like we aren’t as close as we used to be and I’d like to find ways to spend more time together.”
Don’t go into the conversation with comments like “You’re never around” or “You act like you don’t even care anymore.” While you might feel those things to be true, starting a blame game will only put the other person on the defensive and make them less likely to want to work together on rebuilding your intimacy and connection.
Growing Apart requires you to Spend Time Together. Research suggests that couples who spend more time together tend to experience greater happiness and less stress. Shared time together, however, isn’t always easy to come by.
Studies looking at the intersecting demands of work and family suggest that both are high-demand and time-intensive institutions that require a great deal of devotion. This requires individuals to make choices about where they spend their time, which sometimes leads to relationships getting short-changed to make time for kids and work.
Past research has suggested that marital well-being can have long-term effects on health, but one study found that simply spending time together can have several immediate benefits as well. The results of the study found that:
People were almost twice as likely to report feeling happy when they were with their spouses than they were when they were apart.
Simply having a spouse present also appears to decrease stress levels. Participants were 21% less likely to report stress during activities when their spouse was present.
Growing Apart requires you to support One Another Sometimes it’s easier to feel a connection to someone when you feel like they are in your corner. Look for ways that you can show care and support for one another.
Share Feelings With Counsellor“When we believe we’re supported, we feel better about ourselves and can cope better with stressful events and situations,” explained Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, PhD, in their book “Making Marriage Work: Avoiding the Pitfalls and Achieving Success.”
Have Fun Together. Any relationship can start to feel less exciting over time as the realities of maintaining a lasting partnership and the grind of day-to-day life take precedence over keeping the passion alive.
“People stop engaging in the very activities that brought them together in the first place,” explain therapists Robert Schwarz and Elaine Braff, authors of “We’re No Fun Anymore: Helping Couples Cultivate Joyful Marriages Through the Power of Play.”
Schwarz and Braff suggest that even after your relationship settles into a pattern, it’s essential to maintain a sense of fun to have a successful and lasting relationship.
Get Professional Help. If the distance seems to be growing despite both of your efforts, consider talking to a mental health professional. Couples counselling can help identify underlying problems, help couples rebuild intimacy, and improve empathy and communication.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you will agree with me that it’s not always a stable experience. A relationship is a process filled with ups and downs… and downs and ups. But these ups and downs are natural. However, there are extremes to this, and today we’ll look at some of the warning signs you are Growing Apart in your relationship.
Every relationship starts pretty cool. There are lots of sparks and excitement. And this enthusiasm is fueled by the passion between the couple. It’s understandable because, at the initial stages, many things are YET to be discovered; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Every relationship starts pretty cool. There are lots of sparks and excitement. And this enthusiasm is fueled by the passion between the couple. It’s understandable because, at the initial stages, many things are YET to be discovered; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When you eventually discover most aspects of the relationship, things might begin to get increasingly boring. That’s when you will notice that your partner snores a lot. Or that she nags, or that he talks too much.
Signs you are Growing Apart. Now, since you can’t possibly escape the thorny part of a relationship, and since the troubles (that can throw your relationship apart) will surely resurface at times, why not look for the signs and detect the danger earlier?
You Hardly Pay Attention. One way most couples display affection is by paying attention to each other. Attentiveness allows you to observe your partner and understand them better. An attentive partner knows when their better half is worried,’ when they’re happy or sad when they are tense or troubled, and even when they’re sick.
This is because such an attentive partner cares enough to show interest in what’s going on with their significant other. With proper attention, it could get to a point where your spouse wouldn’t have to say a word before you know exactly what they want at any given time.
You No Longer Do Favors. Another key sign you’re Growing Apart in your relationship is when you no longer go out of your way to do any favours for your partner, or vice versa. For instance, during the initial stages of the relationship, you can recall how you usually go out of your way to show some kindness to your partner.
No matter how busy you were, you created time for them, no matter how engaged you were at the office, you came back early to do the laundry. Remember, you used to buy your partner gifts – even when you didn’t have much.
Sure, it’s normal for couples to disagree at times. After all, they are two individuals with different backgrounds and experiences. So, opinions are bound to differ from time to time. But then, when you are ALWAYS in disagreement with your “boo” even when it’s not necessary – then something is wrong.
You Prefer Spending Time Away From Them. If you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for quite a while, then you may be familiar with this feeling. At some point, it feels too boring to stay home with your spouse. You just feel this urge to step out and have some fun with friends and family.
The Physical Intimacy Seems To Be Gone. This is often one of the earliest warning signs you are growing apart in your relationship. One of the reasons for any romantic relationship is to satisfy the need for physical intimacy. The level of physical intimacy between partners goes a long way to suggest if they are still close or if they are Growing Apart.
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